Fragments

[From Food is Home | an essay]

“...I returned home to Hong Kong last month and when I ordered, the chef looked in surprise and said, ‘I didn’t think you could speak Cantonese. I thought you were part English.’ I am not. It unsettled me. I do not belong. He didn’t think I was from here. He didn’t think I belong to the place I was born. To the place that was familiar to me, the food and all its smells. No matter where I am, I can still taste the freshest prawn wontons that tasted of the sea wrapped in the thinnest of skin sitting in a chive infused broth on top of a bed of perfectly al dente noodles from Mak’s Noodles in Central. No matter where I go, I can still smell the aromas steaming out from each basket of deliciousness at Luk Yu Teahouse. The one-of-a-kind char siu wrapped in mochi, the plumpest har gow and the salty black bean steamed spare ribs. These dishes are not merely memories but part of my identity. Each time I placed a morsel in my mouth, I am transported to a time and place. I return to my childhood, to a familiarity. It certainly feels like home. Till a stranger questioned it."

"Over the years in my attempt to establish whether food can determine where home is for me and where I belong, I faced the dilemma of most immigrants. Grateful but sometimes lost. A longing for the home that can make you feel like an imposter and the love for the other, adopted home where you still feel like an outsider.”

[From a letter for eventualities]

“...whatever happens or happened, I am ok.

I am ok because I carry you in my heart and that will never change whatever the circumstances. I carry all that we have achieved, the incredible number of adventures, the happiest of times, the best of times and even the overcoming of the worst. In our own sense, in our own terms we have lived. And we have lived a good life.”

“...I am not going to write too much more because I hope there is no need. And also because I hope that you know all that need to be said.

You are my person.

I will love you till the end of time (and then some).”